Why is a post about my cow skull becoming my most popular post
I EXPLAINED SHEILA ALREADY BESIDES IM NOT AS BAD AS MY GRANDPARENTS
I’m gonna regret this so much, but whatever
What do you grandparents do
They own a skeleton they found on their property (the whole things legal, skeleton was not involved with a crime it’s just a very old conquistador-They did get it checked out and went through a whole process to make sure it wasn’t involved in anything bad.) I think the whole things incredibly fucking weird but like I can’t do anything. I hope he gets left to my cousin because I don’t want that shit.
And for those of you who want my grandparents justification, my grandmother’s family are members of the local Native American tribe that the conquistadors tried to wipe out so basically grandma decided this was revenge.
look I don’t want to tell anyone what to do but if you go down that path you will wake up a thousand years later and all your great-grandchildren will be dead
today i found out that victor hugo has had more sex than possibly almost any other human that has lived on this planet.
he had so much sex his biographers straight up gave up trying to document all of his sexual partners. he was reported to fuck up to 3-9 times a day. He had a secret sex diary written in code. He had “official” and “unofficial” mistresses. One estimate was that he had ~200 sexual partners in two years.
Icon.
don’t forget that on the day of his funeral all the brothels in Paris were closed because every single prostitute in the whole goddamn city was busy mourning him
Hey quick question what the fuck
the man reported on his hookups in his diary using latin code words and 2 million people attended his funeral, if that isnt balling idk what is
victor hugo has been dead for 133 slutty, slutty years
i struggle with my own calligraphy skills and this is what people who are good at it do?
my goode dude, being “good” at smth like calligraphy is 90% grueling amounts of effort and practice, and that shit is tedious and hard. I can’t speak for any other calligraphers who are more skilled and focused than I am, but what’s the point of learning to draw beautifully if you can’t have fun doing it? If you can’t make people laugh at dumb misspellings, grin uncontrollably at their idiotic squad memes in fancy print and jokingly kinkshame historical figures every now and then?
if youve never physically been in the presence of like, a real live wolf, and you probably wont get the chance to, heres some stuff about them you should know
a wolf’s fur is so unbelievably thick that you can get like, your whole hand into it while petting. and then you can keep going
wolves are a lot bigger than you think they are. think about how big you think a wolf is then just like double that
they dont really smell like dog but they DO smell and youre not going to be able to figure out if its a good smell or not
a wolf really wants to lick the inside of your mouth. he will not stop trying to lick the inside of your mouth at any cost, and generally speaking you need to press your lips together kind of tightly when he approaches your face so that he doesnt worm his damn tongue in there to give you what he thinks is an appropriate greeting
a wolf doesnt really want to look at you while you pet him but he wants you to pet him. hes embarrassed
if a grown ass wolf decides to lay down on you, you just have to deal with it and thats your life now
young wolves, much like young dogs, are overwhelmingly goofy and stupid. a teenage wolf will see your very fragile, very human shoulder and go “i can probably step on that with my full weight” and then he will do it
letting a wolf eat out of your hand is actually not remotely frightening, and youll want to do it all day
Dan and I bought a thing called “long ziti” from the local Weird Bargain Store, largely as a joke, but…. I have never had a more unsettling pasta experience in my life. They wouldn’t bend enough to cook from top to bottom simultaneously, and while they were cooking boiling water kept spouting out from the tops of them out of the pot, like a boiling pipe organ.
Then they were so long and floppy and hoselike that we couldn’t pick them up with anything other than tongs, and then they were so long and unwieldy that it was basically impossible to sauce them without them all slithering out of the bowl like wet snakes. They then proceeded to cool down almost completely within the the seconds it took to walk to the living room.
Eating them was like eating a bowl full half melted drinking straws.
Bringing back Long Ziti for another round because it’s just too funny
Anxiety-prone-human 