Me: *thinking about Christian memes* What if Jesus had come in 2017 instead of back during Roman times? Would He, instead of using parables, have spoken in memes?
Roommate: I hate you. You aren’t allowed to have any more thoughts about Jesus.
Me: It’s not like its heresy! It isn’t insulting!
Roommate: Yes, it is! Memes are inherently sin, a sign of the Devil’s influence on this fallen world!
Satan: turn these stones into bread
Jesus: bold of you to assume that man can live on bread alone
a fig tree out of season: *no figs*
jesus: then perish
Ok but from a purely theological standpoint, based on the way Jesus communicated (he talked in ways that would be understandable to at least some extent by the general public, and had a lot of respect for children)…
Theologically speaking, Jesus would almost certainly have spoken in memes.
“Whenever you crack open a cold one with the boys in my name, there I be in your midst”
i love when ur writing an essay and u all of a sudden get a burst of inspiration or find the perfect source to back up ur point and it’s like the clouds have parted and everything’s clear and ur not gonna have to drop out
never mind everything sucks essay writing is horrible i have no clue what im doing im gonna drop out and become a street performer
NEVER MIND IM THE KING OF ACADEMIA IM GONNA GET 100% IM GONNA FINISH ON TIME AND HAVE A WELL STRUCTURED ARGUMENT AND IT’S GONNA BE AWESOME
i spent christmas alone while my family got together and fought, and honestly i feel so good about this
i bought myself presents, cooked a big meal, drank wine and watched Home Alone 3 w/ my dog. I don’t feel sorry for myself at all.
meanwhile my sister threatened to disown my dad so he threatened to disown her, while my mom enabled and my other sister downed a bottle of wine to deal.
on the other side of the country, i was busy discovering, to my delight, that the that the 3rd installment of the Home Alone franchise not only stood up to the test of time, but contains some of the best oneliners and comedic timing I have ever seen.
honestly, keep toxic people out of your life. family isn’t everything, and bad family is often worse than no family. don’t be afraid to put in some distance, especially during high stress times like the holidays. you don’t actually owe them anything.
being alone for the holidays is so much better than being with people who make you unhappy.
Geometrically-challenged child cultists should have stuck with the triangles.
Is this real life Dipper Pines?
“oh look. Another mysterious stone path in the woods. 3 guesses where this leads.”
(at the end of the path)
“Listen. I know everyone wants to summon a demon at summer camp. I get it, I really do! But if you’re gonna try that shit just… put some effort into it. I mean look at this shit. IT’s just…It’s not even symmetrical. And look at this egg thing. It’s wildly disproportionate to the rest of it. It sucks! It objectively sucks! If I were a demon and I saw this, I would actually be offended. Try harder, kids. Try harder.”
Anxiety-prone-human 