eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place. koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat The Fucking Bombs
oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is starvation, because
1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc everyone’s doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die
2) idiots can’t die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smoker’s lung from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their organs like khaki black. like some fuckin dark!steve irwin costume well better piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let em
by the way i never elaborated on “koalas sit in trees all day screaming” but heres a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound like
Also, it doesn’t matter that they’re eating brain-killing poison, because their brains are already tiny, and smooth rather than folded they way most animal brains are to increase neuron surface area. Also full of holes? These animals are so fuckin dumb, they’re basically like if vertebrates tried to evolve a scale insect.
Yo, I remember sending this anon and like after seeing that tweet today where he named the pimple on his cheek Steve, I would just like to say that I stand by what anon-me said all those months ago.
Fanfiction isn’t written for you, it’s shared with you.
BLESS THIS POST
As a fanfiction writer, it’s taken me a long time to come to this realization, and ever since I have, I’ve been so much happier with my views of my work and my self-esteem. The person my fanfiction is written for is ME. When other people enjoy it, that’s wonderful and it makes me happy, but I shouldn’t beat myself up if people don’t. It’s not for them. It’s for me.
YES! Every once in a while, I’ll be like, “Ugh, this is such wish fulfillment garbage for MYSELF, what worthless trash.” And then I’m like, “Wait, no, that’s why I’m writing it.” If other people don’t like it? meh.
Do you ever hear someone say something about your field of interest that is wrong and you have to stop yourself from physically cringing but you gotta stay strong and cool cause you don’t wanna be ‘That NerdTM’?
there is no deep meaning to this, this is when I see people refering to Excalibur as “The Sword in The Stone”
Wait I though the sword in the stone is Excalibur. What is it then?
The Sword in the Stone is Caliburn, and was the way be became king. Excalibur was the sword given to him by the Lady of the Lake after he broke Caliburn fighting King Pellinore.
I have been educated today and I appreciate it
I did not expect everyone else to also like swords this much.
1) Thank you, Kap, for clearing up this misconception.
2) I am always down to be That Nerd™
Honestly I should have known this and I did not know this
Be that nerd! I love that nerd!
Seriously, most people love learning new information from someone who is excited to share something they love
why the fuck is no one naming their children after greek goddesses? Name your fucking child Persephone?????? Bitch???????!?
If that makes you happy, my name is Demeter
In my experience, people named after Greek goddesses are some of the most ethereal, chaotic forces I have ever encountered.
Our Art Department’s nude model, for example, is a woman named Hera. She’s stunningly beautiful, rides a motorcycle as apparently her only vehicle, grows all her own food, and keeps bees, turtles, and a dog named Argus, who she walks around town with a peacock feather attached to his leash.
I am thoroughly convinced she is not of this realm.
I was doing face painting for kids and this 5 year old boy wanted the comedy and tragedy masks, one on each cheek. I was like “that’s different but ok!” and did them. Then later I saw he had smudged one of them and I was like “oh no your comedy mask is all smudged!” and he said “that’s because everything is a tragedy” and i am still stressed out about this kid who knows far too much
Anxiety-prone-human 