No but the history behind this picture is really interesting
The reason that everyone always looked miserable in old photos wasn’t that they took too long to take. Once photography became widespread it took only seconds to take a picture.
It was because getting your photo taken was treated the same as getting your portrait painted. A very serious occasion meant so thst your descendants would know that ypu existed and what you looked like.
But one time some British dudes went to china to go on an anthropological expedition, and they met some rural Chinese farmers and decided to take their pictures. Now, these people weren’t exposed to the weird culture of the time around getting your photo taken, so this guy just flashed a big grin during the photo because he was told to strike a pose and that’s the pose he wanted to strike.
I think painted portraits and old photos give us the idea that in general people were just really unhappy because those are the visuals we have. This is so refreshing.
Hey, look; “Man Laughing Alone With Rice” is back on my dash.
always reblog Happy Rice Guy. once upon a time, he really enjoyed his lunch, and that’s beautiful.
If I ever end up moving in with someone I’m in a relationship with, I want us to have separate bedrooms. I need us to have our own rooms. This doesn’t mean we won’t sleep together, it means we will get to have our own space when we need/want it. Not just for if we’re fighting, but just because people need space sometimes.
i’m actually in this arrangement right now with my partner and i can confirm this is the best idea ever especially if you’re incredibly introverted like i am
You are adorable, this is a frigging great cosplay too!
Have y’all just wanted to disappear? Not like dying but fading into the shadows and just floating along as a nameless person no one really knows much about, not famous in any way, just there, watching. And as time goes on you end up where crimes are going on by accident and people start calling you ‘the watcher’, and you slowly become a cryptid, or a myth. A story that is told to children when they’re young that they shouldn’t do bad things or ‘the watcher’ will show up and report it to the world or to some being that will toss more obstacles their way. And you, ironically, become a famous myth, told until the story of ‘the watcher’ is forgotten and returns to the shadows once more.
Can you call up a therapist and be like “hi, I’m therapist shopping”? Can you schedule an appointment with a therapist and then be like “actually I have some questions and I want to spend part of this appointment talking about your practice and whether or not it is garbage?”? Are you expected to phone interview/screen your therapists if you are shopping around for a therapist?
If you’re seeing one therapist are you supposed to/not supposed to tell them if you start seeing another therapist? Is it possible to cheat on your therapist?
I know this one! Or, at least, I know a way to do it, because I’ve done it.
1) When you call them up (or email them, which I prefer, because PHONE, EW), you ask if they’re taking new patients.
2) If they say yes, say something along the lines of “Great! I’m looking for a new therapist. Would it be possible for me to schedule an appointment so we can see whether we’d be a good fit for one another?”
IF THEY SAY NO, THEY DON’T DO ‘INTERVIEWS’: they’re a dick, you don’t want them anyway, don’t bother to make an appointment
3) Assuming everything is a go, head over to the appointment. Bring your notebook, pen, and questions. Also, if possible, have a very brief rundown prepared of what you’d like to accomplish with your therapy (or even what you think your biggest issues are).
4) Introduce yourself. Reiterate that you want to see if the two of you would be a good fit, so [a nice little social laugh or smile here, while holding up your notebook] you brought questions.
IF THEY DON’T LIKE THAT: they’re a dick, you don’t want them anyway, cut the meeting short
5) Give the rundown of what you want, what your issues are, whatever. See how they react.
IF YOU FEEL WEIRD AT ALL ABOUT THEM: they may not be a dick, but if you don’t feel comfortable with them, then it’s going to be a shit therapeutic relationship
6) Ask your questions — about their therapeutic approach, why they entered the field, whether they feel comfortable working with *your* needs (I, for instance, specifically told my awesome therapist that I needed her to tell me absolutely nothing about her personal life or experiences — as much as possible, I needed a blank wall to bounce things off of. It’s been years now, and I THINK she’s seen at least a couple of episodes of Doctor Who. I THINK. That’s all I’ve got. It’s amazing).
AGAIN, IF YOU FEEL WEIRD ABOUT THEM: go with your gut — your therapy is not the time or place to try and soldier through
7) By this point, you’ve probably hit the 45 minute mark, and you’ll know if you want to see this person again.
IF YES, say that this was a really great meeting, and you’d like to set up a regular appointment.
IF NO, say “Thanks for meeting with me.” If it wasn’t too terrible, feel free to add in whatever social niceties you want to lessen the blow (“I have appointments with a few other people, still, but thank you again!”), or you could just skedaddle as soon as possible.
IF YOU’RE NOT SURE, go a bit heavier with the social nicety: “I still have appointments with a few other people, but I really enjoyed our meeting. I’ll let you know as soon as possible if I’d like to schedule another one. Thanks again!”
Regarding current therapists: If they’re toxic, get rid of ‘em before you even start interviewing others. Nobody needs that kind of garbage. Otherwise, you could keep seeing them while you interview others, and then the second you find one you like (and you schedule your next appointment), get rid of your current one. You don’t have to say why — just say that you’d like to cancel future appointments. Do it over email, if you want. If you like them, you can tell them that you just need something different now, but that you “really appreciate all the work we’ve done together” or something. If you don’t like them, just cancel. They don’t need to know jack.
IF YOUR CURRENT THERAPIST SAYS SHIT ABOUT YOUR LEAVING — and I mean anything other than a positive hope for you in the future — then they were a dick and you were right to find someone else. Who needs passive-aggressive bullshit from a therapist? Nobody, that’s who.
So that’s my philosophy/style with regard to therapist shopping — I may be completely wrong, but it’s worked for me so far. Good luck!
This is really good advice
Yes, very good advice!
I needed this!! I recently moved and need to find a new therapist AND psych in my area. I was also super uncomfortable with my therapist, who literally said these words out loud from her mouth: “How do you know you’re pansexual if you’ve never had sex?”
nope bye
This is the advice I used when therapist shopping for my current therapist! I didn’t bring the notebook of questions cause there were a just a couple key things that I really wanted to make sure that were okay, but this gave me a good idea of what to look out for not related to the very specific stuff I was going to therapy for. But this guide is awesome.
I’ve never been so unafraid to see a therapist before I read this… I might give it a try.
Anxiety-prone-human 