biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

the-feeling-is-mutual:

There are two types of vampires:

Is-this-red-wine-or-blood-in-my-glass-whatever-it-is-I’m-not-telling-you, classy as fuck, “oh this? ya it’s my mansion, i had all the flying buttresses built by hand,” flowing hair and all that shit, won’t fucking put on sunscreen because the ~aesthetic~ so parasols and staying indoors are their best friends.

“holy fuck i love your sunglasses,” blood in a capri-sun packet, “bitch pass me the sunscreen i’m goin to the beach,” neon, fuck goth i’m a surfer vamp, “fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuckin it up bitches slurp slurp,” “i missed all the cool stuff SHIT,” fuck being classy i came out here to have a goddamn good time.

the second type but does it all wearing a cape and cravat