bitchtitsincorporated:

“It Doesn’t Apply To You, So Move On”

Except it does. Even if you don’t realize it, it does.

Here’s the funny thing. When I was in grade school, I was in one of the worst (behavioral) classes in a solid decade – at least!! – to go through the school. We had to get pulled aside multiple times a year for talks about how awful all of us were, how we all were the problem, how those who did wrong “know who you are” and you’re “not going to name names”. Down to whole classes repeatedly getting punished for the actions of a couple notable douchebags. I spent countless recesses in trouble because I happened to share a class with them. What the teachers were trying to do is effectively shame those doing wrong, hope one of us “good kids” would rat them out (nevermind we didn’t even know who it was), or just positive peer pressure them into not doing the bad thing.

Literally none of that worked.

Students – good students – grew bitter at the teachers. We started snipping at each other. Anxious kids grew more withdrawn and developed problems talking to teachers because their anxiety makes them assume they’re at fault, even when they’re not. The dicks only acted more like hellions because they individually weren’t punished – hell in their eyes the teachers are blaming the students that never do wrong, not them! I wouldn’t be surprised if it ultimately encouraged kids who weren’t that bad to act out in their impulse because fuck it, not like the teacher thinks ant differently! They did say all of us. The words and warnings the teachers gave became background noise and faded into obscurity. All 3rd graders, all 4th graders, all 5th graders…drilled into your head all the way until high school, where class barely mattered anyway.

Because that’s the thing I’ve always noticed with sweeping generalized statements (“we’re/the group you’re in is all the problem”) and cryptic vagueblog/book posts. The ones guilty of wrongdoing assholery either don’t see themselves as in the wrong. They don’t view themselves in that all category. Or worse, they revel in it. They will take advantage that – while normally society doesn’t want them to, and so they may hold their tongue – you’re expecting them to, so may as well take that shit up to 11. The ones actually guiltless get bitter and resentful you decided to lump the Donald Trumps of the world (or the Lena Dunhams, let’s say, for the left) together with you, a harmless 3rd party. And people with anxiety and/or mental conditions that make them catastrophicize, or interpret things as-is, or assume the worst about themselves? They curl in on themselves. That’s only going to drag them down a hole or questioning and self doubt. (As I’ve literally seen happen with non-discourse related things on discord servers, where someone says “all x” and someone else with anxiety very quietly comments they don’t, or later on state the comment made them uncomfortable. One person in particular has this so bad involving “all those who write in first person are shitty authors” they are afraid to post their fics online) Because those mental conditions don’t fucking allow you to “not apply yourself”.

“If it doesn’t apply to you, move on”. Or maybe don’t constantly make sweeping generalizations in a deadpan, 100% serious tone and then refuse to clarify. We got rightfully upset at our teachers. It shouldn’t be different when it’s our peers.