defense-of-absurdity:

to all the new Slytherins that will join us at hogwarts today…

• you are not evil
  
• you are not bigoted
• you are not hateful
• you are not manipulative
• you are not selfish
• you are not cruel
• you are not cowardly

and I wish every single one of you ambitious, determined, cunning, resourceful, wonderful people a fantastic year