I was thinking of this fantasy au where Virgil is a dragon witch and the other’s are Real Gay™
Taglist: @im-bad-at-life @jynxlovesluck @angst-patton @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @allaboutthemsides @apologetically-anxious @saltlouie @the-incedible-sulk @virgil-has-a-houseplant
“WHAT did you DO?” The voice roars, loud and thunderous over them, anger and teeth and terribly attractive.
“Ah- I- I-” Logan can not get the words out. He could weave even the most complicated of lyrics in his sleep but right now, staring down the humanoid figure of the dragon witch they had been tasked with controlling, he could not untie his tongue.
“Change me back!” The creature stalks forward, shoulders hunched and power in their walk. “Now,” they demand in front of Logan’s face. Their teeth are barred and sharp and Logan can only stare.
“Now hold on a gosh darn ding dang minute here.” Roman speaks up, sword held to his hip arrogantly. The now humanoid dragon snaps their head to him and a growl rips through their throat. For what it’s worth, Roman doesn’t flinch, but his eyes do go wide, more so with anoyance at being growled at and maybe a little how nice the noise would sound not being on the receiving end of it in anger.
“You were attacking the village,” Roman points out. The beast drops their arms and twists up their nose. Slowly their eyes glow a dangerous eerie purple.
“You were attacking me!” The creature says back, taking a dramatic step towards the sword weilding knight. Roman takes one right back.
“Because you were attacking!”
“I was not! I avoided all the people!”
“Then what were you doing?” Patton finally speaks up, getting over his starstruck look, and stopping Roman and the dragon from their shouting. They two stand just a foot apart both glaring at each other. The witch turns to Patton, eyeing him up and down and Patton is a little proud that creepy glowing dies down.
“I was getting something to eat.”
“Ah hah!” Roman exclaims and is immediatly silence by the dragon barking out a growl right in his face. The witch turns back to Patton.
“I was going for the sheep but you stupids had to get involved.”
“Hey!” Logan takes offense to that.
“So you were stealing,” Roman is trying really hard to find a flaw. The witch just gives him a deadpan look.
“Yeah, what else am I supposed to do after you people domesticated all of them?” The question hangs in the air with an awkward silence. Until the witch groans low and smacks their hands to their face. Their wings shake as they begin to pace. When they finally stop and whip around to Logan, the mage has a much better handle on his words.
“Can you change me back or not?” The witch asks. Logan nods and flips through his spell book, acutely aware of the witch inching closer to lean over him. They are unnaturally warm.
“I can create something that will turn you back but all my materials are back at..” he trails off.
“The castle,” Roman finishes for him. For the first time the witch looks paniced, wings drooping and a pathetic look on their face.
“Hey hey it’s okay!” Patton gets close, putting an easy hand on the witch’s shoulder. Patches of scales shine under their clothes.
“We can hide you and head back together if you want, you may not be able to survive out here on your own.” His words leave no room for argument, not that Roman or Logan would object to spending more time with the very handsome witch. The witch twists up their nose and groans. There is no other option put out.
“How do I know I’ll be safe?” The witch asks, giving a very pointed look at Roman’s sword then at the knight himself. Roman puffs up his chest a little more though the witch’s size is larger than him. He makes a show of swinging his sword around, and sliding it back into its holster.
“You have my word,” he announces. The witch looks him and down, and a snort escapes them. Roman bristles.
“But I’ll be watching you,” he warns. Here the witch rolls their eyes and walks in the direction of the castle.
“Oh yeah,” they wave their hand and a cloak materializes. They wrap it around their shoulders to hide their wings and horns.
“I’m well aware that you’ll be watching me.” It’s almost a smirk, pointed teeth and a self assured tone. Roman jumps at being called out, Logan and Patton in their own states of embarrassment for the words. The witch walks towards the castle.
“Are you coming or do I need to eat a sheep for you to follow?” The witch looks back at them unimpressed. The three scurry after and soon take on guiding soon enough. They don’t say it, but they all know, they are all forming their own plans on how to get closer to the witch before time is up.
–
Uh hi @em-be-lievable you did good with a draw, please take my write as an offering.
Tagging a few people that seemed interested in a write?
@lonelyrosegold , @artistictaurean , @cyberpunkjinx , @residentanchor , @the-angel-of-death-and-donuts , @quietwords-loudthoughts , @audricusthebold @muryokimochi
Hey hey hey! I said I’d write this and here I am ❤ @accidental-sanders @em-be-lievable
…
After a few days on their journey from the village to the city with their draconic companion, the new human was calm enough (though calm was a strong word) to have a civil conversation with, without any mentions of bloodshed or threats of burning. Logan had suggested that they attempt a conversation at nightfall, when the witch seemed calmest, and Roman and Patton had agreed readily.
“The sky is getting dark,” Patton murmured. The resident royal was riding with Logan, his arms wrapped snugly around his husband, and both were silently jealous of their other significant other, who was being hugged tightly by a stormy-looking Anx as they rode together.
“Indeed,” Logan agreed, before calling out to Roman. “We should stop for the night!”
Before Roman could respond, Anx swung off of the horse, nearly falling to the ground but managing to right himself with his tail. “Thank magic!” he growled, tiny puffs of smoke drifting from his mouth and nose. “I hate horseback riding.”
“I thought you wanted to hurry up and get to the castle?” Roman asked, and Anx huffed. “Not on those- those animals. See, if I were in my normal form–”
“We wouldn’t even be in this situation in the first place,” Logan stated, cutting him off. He pointed to a little, nearly invisible path that entered the woods just off the side of the road. “Let’s see if this will take us somewhere peaceful, where we can set up camp, alright?”
Anx huffed again, more smoke drifting from his lips, but trudged forward, sniffing around the edge of the entrance before proceeding. The husbands exchanged glances, but dismounted and followed the witch deeper into the brush.
After a few minutes, it opened up into a picturesque clearing, lit by the rising moon’s beams. A burbling brook ran merrily through one side of the quiet meadow, and trees enclosed the area thickly, letting only the slightest of breezes in. Tiny flowers in white and blue bloomed across the entirety of the small field, letting off a slightly sweet scent that seemed to soothe the soul.
“This will be… adequate,” Logan said after a few moments, blinking. Anx let out a chuckle and headed over to the small stream, cloak around his shoulders dematerializing. After looking carefully at the water for a few moments, he knelt down and drank from it, much akin to how a dog would. His tail curled around his side, twitching, which was fine with the trio still at the edge of the clearing, as it gave them a clear look at his… assets.
Roman grabbed his shirt, above his chest, letting out a low, appreciative whistle. The others were hardly any better- Logan was completely flushed, and Patton was shyly hiding his face behind his hands (and peeking out from between his fingers). Anx came up, shaking his head to get the water dripping from his mouth off, and then glanced over, eyebrow raised.
“Can I help you?”
Logan jumped a little at being called out, Patton let out an ‘eep’ and scurried to the packhorse to get the tent, and Roman’s smirk grew. “Well, since you asked–”
Logan’s elbow shot out and got him, hard, in the side, and Anx laughed as Roman crumpled to the ground. The draconic man swaggered over to the wizard, looking down at Roman. “What was that you were going to say?”
“Nothing,” Roman gasped, and Anx returned his attention back to the man in front of him. “Clever,” he said, and Logan adjusted his glasses. “Yes, I am.”
Before the dragon witch could reply, Patton called over to the wizard. “Lo-lo? Can you help me set this stuff up?”
“Of course, Patton,” Logan replied, turning away from Anx and hurrying to the king’s side. With a few muttered spells, the tents were set up, a fire had been started, and Roman, Logan, and Patton were holding fresh pajamas in their hands. Immediately, Roman tugged off his top, kicking off his shoes as well, and shook out his pajama shirt to put it on.
“Roman?” Patton said, before the knight could pull on the shirt. “Could you grab some extra firewood real quick?”
“Well, I–”
“Pleeeaaase?” Patton crooned, a sweet smile on his face, and Roman sighed, dropping his pajamas on top of the larger tent to comb through the trees around them.
As soon as he had turned away, Patton grabbed Roman’s shirt and threw it at Logan.
“Get rid of it,” he hissed. Logan raised an eyebrow. “Patton, the temperatures tonight are looking to be chilly. He should probably-”
“-cuddle up with us! You’re so right, Logan.” Patton flashed a charming grin, and Logan coughed, flushing slightly. Patton’s grin grew, and he leaned in conspiratorially. “Plus, check out Anx!”
Logan glanced over at the dragon witch briefly, then found he had to do a double take. The horned man was watching Roman rummage around through the bushes, violet eyes tracking his every move. It reminded him eerily of the dragon’s hungry gaze, and he had opened his mouth to remark as such to Patton, when Roman stood straight and stretched, letting out a moan as his back popped. At the noise, Anx’s cheeks flushed a faint red-violet, and he turned his head back to the brook.
Logan looked back at Patton, whose expression was full of mischief and trickery, and swallowed. “You… may have a point.”
Patton giggled devilishly. “So~?”
Before Logan could make a decision, Roman walked back over, sweating slightly, branches in his arms. “Here! More firewood. Can I have my pajamas now?”
Logan looked at the shirt, then Anx, then Patton, and then Roman.
And threw the shirt into the fire.
…
“I cannot believe that THAT is why you threw my shirt into the fire,” Roman complained loudly, now dressed in pajama pants, leaning against Logan’s shoulder. Patton hushed him, pointing to Anx, who was coming back from the brook with fish speared on some of the wood Roman had retrieved, and the knight fell silent. His hand curled around Logan’s side, pressing in a way that said they would discuss this later. Logan elected to ignore it and instead reached across the fire to take the branch the witch had offered to him.
“Are you talking about that shirt thing? Yeah, what was up with that? You humans are so weird,” Anx chuckled, taking a seat on the ground and biting into one of the raw fish. Patton’s face twisted, and he looked at if he would say something, but Roman cut him off by sighing dramatically. “Logan decided he needed more to feed the flames immediately, and, impatient as he is, decided to rip away from me my only source of warmth! He is a cruel, cruel man! I cannot even cuddle him in revenge, for a chill seeps from his heart and his embrace would only serve to make me freeze!” He ended the speech by draping himself backwards over Logan, arms around the wizard’s neck.
Logan noted that Anx’s eyes wandered over the knight’s toned stomach before snapping back to his face, a small smirk on his mouth and a slight blush on his cheeks. From Patton’s small laugh, it seemed he had noticed too.
“Well, I doubt talking about him like that will get you anything you want,” Anx laughed quietly. Roman smirked right back and winked at the witch. “Oh, I have many other ways of getting what I want,” he purred, twisting so he could trail a calloused hand down Logan’s chest. The wizard coughed and pushed Roman off of him as the other whined. “Well, Roman, I’m afraid I don’t much feel like conjuring up another shirt for you tonight. You already have so many back at the castle, you can survive one night without one.”
“‘So many’… how many outfits do you have?” Anx asked, passing the branch with the remaining fish to Patton, who began turning it over the fire carefully. Roman sat up straight and grinned. “Oh, probably hundreds at this point-”
“- two-hundred and twenty-three shirts, one-hundred and seventy-six dress pants, fifty-two casual pants, three-hundred and ten assorted dresses, skirts, and tunics, and fourty-three scarves and hats. Oh, and three-hundred and fourty-nine pairs of shoes,” Logan supplied, and Anx’s eyes widened. Roman grinned, switching from leaning on Logan to caressing Patton, who giggled and gave him a hug. “What can I say? A prince has got to slay! And these fine gentlemen are kind enough to buy me many a fine-cut-outfits.” He punctuated the sentence with a kiss to Patton’s cheek.
Anx tilted his head curiously. “I didn’t know humans kept hordes.”
Now it was Roman’s turn to look curious. “It’s not- hordes? Is that actually true, that dragons keep hordes?”
Anx shifted, wings flaring out a little as he looked at the ground. “Well… yeah. We don’t talk about it too much to strangers, in case another dragon decides out collection seems interesting and decides to fight us for it, but… yeah. Every dragon collects stuff. Smaller dragons prefer hordes of precious gems and metals, or brightly colored flowers. Larger dragons collect larger things- animals, books, whatever. That’s where you get ‘princess kidnappings’ actually- dragons too thick to realize humans are also incredibly stupid and suicidal, who think they can start a human horde and don’t get that humans will fight anything to get what they want.” He looked back up at the trio. “You, for example.”
“Hey!” Roman protested, leaning forward, “that’s not stupid, it’s valiant and brave!”
Logan cut in before the argument could go any further. “What’s your horde, Anx?”
Anx drew back a little, and Patton held out his hands pleadingly. “Don’t feel uncomfortable! You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to!”
The witch shrugged a little. “I mean… it’s not… it’s nothing flashy. Kinda boring, actually. You probably wouldn’t really care about it.”
“Now I’m sure that’s not the case, Anx,” Patton said, smiling softly at the dragon witch. “I bet it’s amazing.”
“Well…” Anx hesitated, then sighed. “I have a few small hordes, like cats and stained glass, occasionally, and silver stuff, but my largest hordes are- uh…” He dithered a little bit, then screwed up his face. “Wool rugs and astronomy charts! There, it’s just like clipping claws.”
“Wool… rugs?” Roman asked, puzzled. “Why?”
“Have you ever tried sleeping on silver? Or a hard rock floor, for another?” Anx shot back. Roman held his hands up, and Anx nodded. “Didn’t think so. Also, plenty of well-made ones have nice patterns. I like them.”
Logan leaned forward eagerly. “Astronomy charts?!”
When Anx nodded, Logan allowed himself an uncharacteristic beaming smile. “I adore astronomy! The way stars and planets are placed in the heavens fascinates me- the constellations are amazing as well. Do you have a favorite? Mine is Ursa Minor- I think it’s wonderful, how it has helped guide so many travellers along their ways to their destinations.”
Anx looks a little shocked before smiling shyly and answering. “I do like the Ursas, but I’d have to say my favorite constellation is Draco. Gotta stay true to, well, me, I guess.”
Logan’s smile became soft, and even more so when Patton stood and practically jumped to Anx’s side, sitting close to him. “See? Nothing to be embarrassed about- your hordes sound awesome! And if all goes well, then hey! Maybe you could show us them sometime?”
Anx’s face flushed a deep violet red, the color plainly visible in the dancing firelight. “Um- well- er- that is to say- uh- GOODNIGHT!”
The dragon witch leapt to his feet and dashed into the smaller tent, tail lashing behind him as he scrambled in. Patton looked at his husbands, eyebrows raised. “Did I say something wrong?”
Logan paused, confused, and Roman shrugged. “Don’t have a clue, my love. Maybe he’s just shy?”
“Maybe…” Logan said, “but I don’t think that’s all of it. Perhaps we can try asking him in the morning.”
The others nodded, and after Logan put out the fire, together crawled into the larger tent, exchanging sleepy kisses before drifting off to sleep.
Have I mentioned y’all are a gift. Because this was an absolute treat to read and as dragon-seducing meme king I decree this canon to the AU
chants
more more more
i love this- i loved that
those fics added so many good things
OH MY GOODNESS ITS SO GOOD
Anxiety-prone-human 